Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A total Romy & Michelle Moment....


Okay so I was sitting at my job today & my mind was wandering & I tried to think back to 1999....& honestly I hit a pretty hard mind block. I have a very vivid memory of omg so many things that I would truthfully be devatasted if I lost them, but for the life of me I can't remember what I did for that New Years or most of that year. I know the New Years included episodes of The Twilight Zone but other than that.......*Insert Cricket Noises*

Luckily Romy & Michelle have video montagues throught out their movie so they can remember everything...especially the magnet incident. I, on the otherhand are not that lucky. I know I was 14 & the COOLEST thing on TV was like Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Roswell. I know I was in 8th grade & was on the Varsity Cheerleading squad, & my Earth Science teacher was an absolute bitch. Other than that...I remember Hurricane Floyd & how I had to abandon my house because my whole street flooded a few feet high...I was obsessed with Sailor Moon too & Tuxedo Mask...but the bigger stuff escapes me.

I probably don't remember because I didn't have a cell-phone like Zack Morris & the internet was still ridicolously newish. Oh, and the word "text" had a whole different meaning to it. lol.


OHHH YES I do remember the whole Duct Tape & Water thing. Remember that????? When the world told us to stock up on Duct Tape & water for Y2K??? I think that's why I found boxes of tape in my attic a few months ago...hmmmm.....

High School memories is like this for me. I remember a few times, then another one will peek through, but overall I think I've forgotten most of it all. However I think that's a good thing. I do remember having the Sixteen Candles dreams tho...they were fun. Althought I'm starting to think my guy is lost somewhere on some train platform caught in a snow storm or his GPS ran out of charge so he can't find me & the cake has long ago melted. lol.


But this is now 2010. What do you do when you waiting for it all?? Waiting for the dreams, waiting for the boy, waiting for the hopes, waiting for the smiles...waiting for your life? You take it all & let it carry you wherever it will take you. Also you sleep & laugh all night at crazy youtube videos. LOL! I'm exhausted. Shorter work weeks always mean more work than ever. I'm going to go tomorrow to buy a piece of flare of New Years. Maybe a feathered handband, or a new dress, or just something to spice it up. lol. I'm soo happy I don't have to do the whole water & duct tape thing for this decade turning New years. hehe =P

Sleep well everyone...1 more day of 2009. I hope the door hits it hard on the way out.

The countdown starts...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Yes I will eventually know if "One Size Fits All".


Honestly last night I found my New Years resolutions & frankly I'm disappointed at them. I'm not happy with them because I didn't do any of them. lol. It was the standard drop 15 pounds, drop the Mess boy, if I'm upset tell people don't hold it all in, find a nice guy to be with, & Be true to myself. In the past few months with certain things I seem to have lost this mindset & just crawled back to the past hoping it will change.

Unfortunately one of the definitions of insanity is repeating the same thing over & over expecting a different result. No matter how times I add 2 + 2 it's going to equal 4...not 5. But as I've said before, reconizing the need for change is the first step of the battle & the battle has more than begun with me.

Oh yes my battle has begun. I'm on the horse & jousting through the remainder of 2009 with some power. I do gotta say tho that I am proud of myself for finally finshing college. It took me 6 years, 4 colleges, & *cough* a ridicolous amount of money & time & crap. That's probably one thing I've thankful of 2009 for...

Anywho, the point of this post is the future. In part of my straightening out process in the beginning of this blog I put alot of my little momentos into boxes. Those pictures I never want to lose, movie tickets, train tickets, receipts of nights out I want to rememeber, matchbooks from diners I've been to, I.D.s from conventions, concert tickets, birthday cards...you name it I keep it. I'm a qualified pack rat, remember? Well the other day I bought another box & I'm not going to put the past inside it...I'm going to leave this box for 2010.

I can't wait to see what I'll go do. I wonder what concerts I'll go to, what conventions, what random things I'll see, who I'll meet, where I'll go, Ooooo I'm excited!!! I compiled a list of things I want to do in 2010. It's a small list of actually do-able things. I will try to do them over the course of the new year.

1. This will be the year that I move out of my parents' house.
2. Get a new reliable salary-based job with benefits.
3. Get over the Mess, my Brown-Eyed Mr. Big...I'm trying.
4. Drop those 15 pounds.
5. Buy the Victoria Secret "Lacie" thong & see if "One Size fits all".
6. Meet Mr. Platform...gotta find out when the rescheduled party is.
7. Try doing small goals.
8. Find friends that I can trust...that was a big problem I had in 2009. (I lost 2 best friends due to drama)
9. Go on an actual vacation...Being home from a surgery does not count as a vacation.
10. Save some actual money each month.
11. Get Respect in my life. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me." - Aretha
12. Go on an open call for modeling. I mentioned the Keen Agency. I will go to a meeting.
13. Go to New York City as much as I can, especially the "Tim Burton" exhibit at the MoMu.
14. Learn Italian or French...I know Latin so it wouldn't be that hard.
15. Return to my scrapbooking & collage making I used to do.
16. Continue to get my certified C.A.D. (Computer-Assisted-Drawing) license.
17. Try to have 365 days of smiles. Find 1 thing each day to make smile.
18. Have someone to kiss on New Years for 2011.
19. Get back some of the friends I've lost in 2009...Maybe they've grown up enough.
20. Write my zombie novel. I have to sit & write it & I'm giving myself a year deadline. I will do it with my Writer's Groups help.

It seems like a long list, but in a year I will definitely try to do most of them. Well I'm going to be crossing my fingers & hoping for the best!!! The thought of new always makes me happy. I can hardly wait!! *Crossing my fingers* Wish me Luck!!


That's me. Here's hoping to 2010!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Why I wish I was a Penguin...


Well in life you take the good & you take the bad. I had my gall bladder removed about 2 months ago but I still have some bad days with it all. I wish I could take mylanta or rolaids to ease my tummy & the nausea but nothing today is really working. I've been living on toast all day but it's not helping either. It's okay tho, my stomach somehow resets itself for the morning...Furthermore this is going to be a short post.

They have been playing the movie, "March of the Penguins" like non-stop lately. On the weather channel, discovery channel, and uhh Ion??? I dunno it's another channel on cablevision. Every time it's on I watch it. These lil guys up in the photo are just too CUTE!!! They are soo fluffy!!! It got me thinking about how Awesome it would be to be an Emperor Penquin. I know this is silly but hear me out...

Why I wish I was a penguin:

1.) The bigger a penquin you are the warmer you are.
2.) Baby penguins actually cry real tears.
3.) The male penguin takes care of the egg & the baby at first.
4.) Within a few days the mommy/baby penguin bond is so strong
5.) It's okay to be clumsy. They are very clumsy but no one pokes fun.
6.) You eat fish all day & your completely content with it.
7.) You get to swim all day.
8.) When a male penguin meets a female penguin they mate for life. They somehow find each other & come back. (My favorite reason)
9.) You get to be in a movie where Morgan Freeman narrates what you do. lol.
10.) The male penguin is responsible for keeping the baby penguin warm.
11.) The baby penguins are just too cute. I'd want to play with mine for hours if I was the mommy penguin.
12.) I'd like to also just roll around on my belly on the ice & snow without a care in the world.
13.) Oh yeah & the fluffier the baby ones are the cutier they are!!

From watching this movie I completely understand why Mumble's feet were cold in the "Happy Feet". hehe. I don't know, they just seem to have such simpler lives. Much Much simpler...


I just heard the train whistle from outside my house. I live very close to a train station & I can hear that whistle every hour. I wonder what it would be like to just got on that train & keep going...just keep switching stations til I get somewhere...anywhere far away from here. I wonder if it would hurt me to go or make me smile greatly....hmmmmm...maybe I'll do that one day. Just get a ticket & go. I wonder where I'd end up...I wonder.

Til Tomorrow

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Progress & then Carded to buy an R-rated movie.


There comes a time where you will find yourself doing simple tasks & it brings the thought to your mind that, "Oh Woa I'm actually doing this!!". I'm not going to go crazy & say that I am now a woman who knows how to cook or this is me becoming a Stepford Wife like Nicole Kidman up there...but I'm going to say that I realized that I know how to help someone prepare a meal.

I'm 24 years old & the torch has not been passed to me yet to cook the holiday meal. But this Christmas instead of just setting the table, I did a lil more. I opened the craberry sauce cans & poured it into bowls, I grated the Parmesan cheese for the lasagna, I made the sugar cookies & used the cookie cutters to make the lil trees, wreaths, & men, mixed the doughs for the cookies too, I brought the food to the table from the kitchen, & cut up the fresh mozzarella. I didn't cook besides the cookies but I did something. I am continuing the learning process of becoming that cook that I will have to become one day. You don't just wake up one day & say, "I am a cook!" or "I am the President". It's a journey.

Every Sunday I used to go to the cooking demos at Williams Sonoma but for the holiday season the store takes a small hiatus. Totally understandable. But looking back on the demo sheets I totally realized it is teaching me more than I thought. People on their Christmas wish list put that they would want a French Press for coffee. Due to those demos I actually knew what it was I was looking at. I guess what I'm trying to say is that these holidays made me feel the progress I've made with certain things.

It's not a progress that I can easily take a picture of at this moment but I can feel it. Not just with cooking but with alot of things. This year I've had a list of accomplishments that I just can't believe & a list of downfalls that just weigh so heavily upon me, but with all of it there is progress. I'm still wandering aimlessly from day to day but I can't wait to see what will happen in this next year. I'm looking foward to the waiting to see what this progress will turn into.

Ironically I had planned to write about this yesterday about how I feel like I'm growing up & learning & can feel who I am seeping through, when today the complete opposite happened. I went to buy the movie, District 9 and went to the self-checkout in Walmart when the most RIDICOLOUS thing happened. I got carded to buy the movie. I had NO idea that you can be carded in certain stores when you buy an R-rated movie. But I'm sorry when the guy told me, "Miss you could totally pass for 17. I need to see some I.D. please" I almost lost it. I stared at him blankly & said, "Your kidding?". He wasn't & to make matters worse he then said, "Well look at it this way. When your 40 you can still get a 25 year old doctor." I, again, just stared. I could understand if I was buying porn, but an R-rated movie????? It was just too weird.

Well I may not look my age, but I'm feeling what it's like to be an adult & I like it despite the few curves in the road. I enjoyed my Christmas. I helped prepare the dinner, bought presents for my family, opened cute lil presents, & all-in-all it was a successful day! I did sleep til noon on Saturday because I was so tired but this will go down as a good Christmas. My grandparents also didn't ask me for great-grandchildren this year which made me ever so happy.

Tomorrow I'm going to be working on my to do list for 2010. I'm going to find my resolutions i made last year for this year & see if I did any of them. I don't know if I did. I always like the dreams & hopes of new.

Was there ever a moment in your life when you felt the progress?? Felt like you were truly an adult? Felt like a real person?
I'd love to hear.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Must See - The Movie "Nine" (Non-Spoiler)


I will be taking a lil break from the Christmas gossip tonight & tell you all how, "Omg, Nine is a Must-See Movie!!!!" It is just as powerful as "Moulin Rouge," & "Chicago". Sometimes people hear the word Musical they lurk away & hope that they won't be dragged to it. Or even lie to your friends by saying that it's actually an alien film or a horror film & the music is only in the beginning part. In this movie, that is NOT the case. There is SO MUCH MORE TO IT!!

I love movies that your mind just shuts off for 2 hours. One of my dreams is to go to Italy one day, dance in a chorus line, wear the fancy couture gowns that will make you want to twirl for hours, & wear the raunchy lingerie that you just can't find at Victoria Secret. This movie had all those dreams and more in live technicolor. Maybe it's my Italian fiery spirit peeking through, but I absolutely loved this movie. (P.S. I'm 1/2 Italian, 1/4 German, & 1/4 Dominican).

It stars Daniel Day Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Fergie, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, & of course Sophia Loren (She is awesome). They were fantastic!!! The movie revolves around a lost director(Lewis) looking to find his way for his next film & the women that dwell in his mind & his life. The music was so full of passion, the dance scenes are beautifully choreographed, it's very easy to follow, & you just can't wait til the next frame...

This movie will also touch every person whom someone has made you feel like a penny, ergo one out of many...I know that feeling regretfully well.

I took my mom this morning & we went for the matinee. Even if I had paid the normal amount, it would have been quite alright. Right after the movie I went and bought the soundtrack too. The lyrics of the songs are just wonderful. I think I also liked it because the overlapping love triangles reminded me of a certain man I know & knowing a man who thinks he can do whatever he wants & never deal with the consequences....I know one of those a lil too well.

I recommend this movie totally. A+. It's definitely going to pick up a few awards. =)

I hope everyone had a lovely & safe Christmas. I'll talk about my Christmas tomorrow. I had to write about this movie because I will be running it through my head all day long. I had a good Christmas, thankfully the weather held up so I got all my travelling done in one day & got to sleep in my own bed. hehe. Til Tomorrow...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas!!!!!


It's finally hit me. The holidays are here. I've gone to 3 states in the past few days getting last minute gifts. Oh My God, I've never seen such crazy people. It's one thing to read about it & see it on the news but to be IN IT is Omg...people are insane!!! Alas, I still have a few more things to do. *Cough* learn to gift wrap in 24 hours.*Cough* I'll make do.

I just wanted to thank all of you who have made my blog something special. I'm trying to keep it as random as they come & be honest all the way. I wish I could hug almost every single one of you because you make me smile. It's so wonderful. Thank you!!!

This will be my last post til Saturday, December 26th. I will get around to commenting cuz I love some of your blogs too much to miss out! I got alot of travelling to the grandparents' houses in my black & red santa hat, & I don't have tomorrow off so I gotta cram everything in. My favorite holiday is February 15th, because the holidays are over for a lil while. hehe. But I did get into the holiday spirit last minute & I'm happy I did.

So I wanna wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Channukah, & Happy Kwanza!! =) Cheers!

The winner of my giveaway was #25: Simply Colette! Congrats! Nicolette when you get a chance send me your email & adress!! =) Here's the link to her blog! Simply Colette She is a lovely photographer & creative lady & her posts are wonderful.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The lil Drummer Boy...


Okay gotta say that my lil drummer boy does not deserve the cuteness of this picture to represent him. In this movie/sticom I've been living lately I just got that cliff hanger episode or the scene right before the commercial where you get a call from someone from past seasons. This call was from an ex that will now be called "Drummer Boy"

I haven't mentioned my Drummer boy ex much because there hadn't been much to say. We dated about 2 years ago for about 6 months. I met him one night at a friend's birthday party & we just hit it off. We danced (yes he actually dances), and painted NYC red that night. I'm still shocked that he called me to go on a real date after that night 2 years ago. Times change, feelings change, people change, so he one day stopped calling & did the disappearing act because he wanted to be "alone" for awhile. Whatever. I was over it.

Fast forward to now. Sunday I get a call from Drummer Boy to go to lunch but the snow messed that up. Then today he asked me to dinner. Today we talked for about a half hour on the phone. It was Akward. How do you just start having a phone conversation with someone you hadn't seen or really talked to in about 2 years??? Akwardly. He knew the people I mentioned, knew the job I still had, I knew his friend's jobs & the names he told me...it was like 2 years had never passed...

Honestly I don't know what to do about this lil drummer boy. I was already in the mall with my friend Erin so I didn't want to leave her to go out with him. I told him let's do dinner after Christmas. I have NO IDEA what he wants from me. He said let's chill, be in each other's lives...but he didn't use the "F" word. Ya know, the "Friend" word. I was happy for a while when I was his girlfriend, I liked that he would dance with me...but that was back in 2007...not 2009.

Why is it that when your all psyched to meet someone new...aka Mr. Platform guy...or trying desperately to forget a mess that someone ELSE comes along and turns your head upside down??? I've had days where there is just nothing & then the plates wll start piling up.

I'm probably at least going to go to dinner with Drummer Boy, see what he wants. If he wants a friend, well I gotta see if I'm over him enough to be in his life face-to-face. If not, he'll have to understand. It's hard to let someone back in your life after they just walk out on you without even a goodbye. Maybe he's lonely for the holidays & was just looking for company? Maybe going to the movies with his couple friends & he's just sitting there alone has gotten to him? MAYBE after 2 years he realized he was happy with me for the time we had? Who knows...But I will find out eventually...What a tangled web we weave.

Somehow I am getting into the Christmas spirit this year, putting up the tree, putting the Christmas cards up on the walls, baking the cookies tomorrow, and getting out the black & red santa hat. There is a Christmas commercial that is just so cute it makes me cry everytime I see it because it's just soo unbelievably adorable. I'd thought I'd share it to end this post.

"But we'll all be together for Christmas."

Monday, December 21, 2009

A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.

Sometimes you need that lunch break to just go on for hours and hours so you can collect your head. In reality tho I had about 45 minutes. But I luckily work near a lil thrift store & had a mini adventure there. One of the crappy things about winter is that no one really has tag sales or garage sales. Well I can't blame people for that, it's friggin cold!! So instead I will go to thrift stores because you never know what your going to find. The one I go to a lot has a high turn-over of new merchandise so I try to go often.

I still can't believe the stuff I found today. I had to share it because a thrift store sometimes is WAY better than an antique store because the prices just rock!! For $10 I got the following:


I'm obsessed with anything that's red & black and Omg this purse was just $3 bucks!!!! On sale no less. It's not a label but I don't care. I need a lil bag with a zipper to take out to bars & such. It looks kinda like a Kate Spade bag so I'll totally take it.


I have a weakness for these victorian figurines. I buy then whenever I find them. I like that it's always a couple. This is adorable that they are reading. (Did I mention that I'm a hardcore Pack Rat & part-time hoarder??? Guilty.)


My mom makes dolls. I found this resin mask to her for as an early Christmas present. Maybe she can use it for a doll or something.

Ironically on the shortest day of the year I did the most stuff. I stupidly had another cup of coffee at lunch so I've been running around like the rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland" yet again. But this is a lil better. My mom and I tonight stole the tree that's been in our condo's basement untouched for a while. It's now on my coffee table. I think it's my neighbors that we rescued a while back. We got the tree, the yellow balls, the garland, the angel for the top...tomorrow we'll get lights. At least I didn't put it up on Christmas Eve??? I tried to attack the attic to find the other 8 trees we have but...yeahhhh Christmas is 4 days away, it would take at least a month to find the trees. hehe. Here's the pic!


I'm now happy. It feels like Christmas. =)

Now I gotta mention this before I go. I did some more shopping after work & went into Victoria Secret to use my "$10 off a purchase" coupon. I was looking around & then I noticed something RIDICOLOUSLY ODD. They now have a lacey thong that......here's the kicker.....It's JUST ONE SIZE. Yeah it's a lacey thong that is one size fits all. Now I'm not heavy but I'm not thin either. I have curves, a butt, hips, and thighs. No matter how much Fishing wire & Crisco you have I'm pretty damn sure I am NOT going to fit into the same thong that would fit Heidi Klum. It's called "The Lacie". Here's the link if you don't believe me. The Lacie I dunno. Call me a skeptic, but I don't believe it. Do you?????? Is it a magic thong that somehow fits to every body type?? I highly doubt it cuz they are not a technology company nor do they sell magic wands. Who the hell knows. I love lingerie but yeesh I'm not going to spend $16 on something that may not fit that's not returnable. Maybe it's just me that finds this Weird??

Well I'm happy I now have a tree up. It's officially Christmas to me. Happy Merry almost Christmas. Til Tomorrow...

Title of post is a line from "The Devil wears Prada".

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Just a few lil updates.


I want to write ever so badly that I had a great time meeting Mr. Platform guy whom I've been wanting to meet for a long time now. I wished for a perfect hair day, had my outfit all picked out, I was going to make brownies.....and then try to get in the other million things I was going to attempt that night.

But there is an evil twisted messed up part of mother nature called Snow. I'm sorry to say that I didn't get to go anywhere & didn't get to him or go to any other party. I literally stepped into my parents house (I live with my parents) at 3:30pm on Friday night and have not left the house since then. I live in New York state about 20 minutes from the George Washington Bridge in NYC...I think snow has a secret crush on us. The weather channel forecasted about 10-14 inches starting 8am Saturday morning. It aggravatedly didn't get here til about 9pm that night, therefore wrecking all my plans. We did get about 8-10 inches by Sunday morning tho. I do like snow but truly only when it has snowed during the night & I then don't have to go into work. I work 5 minutes from my home but in snow it can take 30 minutes to an hour to get home.

BUT I did get to finally talk to Mr. Platform on the phone. He's cute on the phone, he answered within 2 rings. I don't know why but somehow we never talked on the phone in the 4 years we've known each other. This is a step to me. Small but a step. He was upset that no one could come to his party except his neighbors because I think he got more snow than me. He COMPLETELY understood & is TOTALLY going to Reschedule the party til after the New Year. I'm sad that I didn't get to go but I'm SO HAPPY he is rescheduling. =) This Platform story isn't over, it's just a lil post-poned. Sry.

I guess I'm going to have to wait some more...Ironically "Sleepless in Seattle" was on this weekend. Go figure.

On another note, does anyone ever watch those cleaning shows? You know the ones where they take everyone's clutter out onto the lawn, gutting the house, so you can actually really clean the house? My favorite one was "Clean Sweep". I really need to do that with Everything. Just lay it out on the lawn and do the "Toss, Sort, Keep". A new year is coming up and I have way too much on my plate. Everyday aomething else pops up. Even my Drummer Boy ex again tried to hang out with me. I'm not sure what he wants from me still. He wanted to go to lunch but I don't understand why out of the blue he's trying to come back in my life. I don't know if I'm even ready to have him back in my life as a friend or other. Wrong ex I wish would come back, ya know what I mean? But I declined because my street & parking lot wasn't even plowed yet. Stupid snow is messing up everything. It may even snow on Christmas, I hope not. I have alot of traveling to do throughout the day it would be a royal disaster if it snowed.

I did not put up a Christmas tree yet. I know. From being sick & the weather I didnt' get to go out and buy yet another one. I have til Wednesday. I will get a tree up. It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. It's odd. Maybe I've been through too much to relax. Maybe I need to listen to the Christmas songs tomorrow at work & drive through the snowy town to feel it. To really feel the Christmas spirit. It's a goal of the week. To try...

In all of this, I tried. That's all anyone can ever do, is try. That's what I'm going to keep on doing.

Alas, one of my favorite actresses died today. Brittany Murphy. For years people have told me I looked like Brittany Murphy in Clueless. The big brown eyes, the curly hair, and the attitude. Every retail job I've had they called me "Tai". It's upsetting. She was an only child too. Her characters are so classic. She was funny & such a good actress. Poor thing. I hope she rests in peace. R.I.P. Brittany.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Wouldn't you miss her?


In that adorable last scene of the movie, "Nightmare before Christmas" Jack Skellington goes and finds Sally because he wanted to be with her. I love that last scene.

I was sitting tonight watching a movie & reading a book (I multi-task alot) & thought of a conversation I had a few months ago with someone but geez it feels like years ago now. The convo began after a summer concert I went to with someone. He turned to me and was like, "Yeah know dude we go do things that people never get a chance to go do. It's unbelievable that we've actually pulled it off. I wonder what we'll do next?" What he was referring to are those events & things people always say they want to do but never get around to doing it. For example, seeing your favorite band in concert, going to see where that scene in the movie was actually filmed, getting autographs & pictures taken with your favorite celebrities, eat at a Sonic, going to events that maybe 2 states away & at least a thousand miles....him & I used to go do those things on each other's list.

That was before & this now. I've been irrevocably replaced in this type of Bonnie & Clyde relationship by new people. So my question is, "Wouldn't you miss the girl who you used to do all these incredible things with?? Wouldn't you miss the girl that took the picture for you?? Miss the girl who would always pick up the phone or answer the text when you rang? Miss the girl who you once made out with in that gazebo in the middle of night at that elementary school?? Wouldn't you miss her...the one who would be right along side you who you did turn to and say "Omg I can't believe that just happened, it always seem that incredible things happen when I'm with you" countless times?? Miss the the girl who held your hand so you could ice skate without holding on to the wall for dear life?? Wouldn't you ask her how can we make this work so we can be in each other's lives instead of just telling me to deal with it?

I guess not...You can't change how people think. You can't magically make him go find you on top that snowy mountain like in the movie. I wonder tho when the new person takes a photo where you only have one chance & it sucks if you'll say to yourself, "Melanie always took the best photos." Or will it just be a new memory to erase the old one of me?

Who knows...I won't forget...but that's just me. I rarely forget things. I like my memories & I hold them dear, even if looking back on them there were only a few moments of real happiness, I'll still remember them when others will forget.

I thought I would be missed...But without a response of "I miss you too" it's too hard to tell. What a shitty turn of events. If I was in the reverse position & I used to go do all these things with a certain girl, I'd miss her.

I miss the guy I used to go do all those cool things with & who would put his head on top on mine while I was pretending to take a nap on his shoulder on the train ride home...even if he doesn't miss me.

I'm going to go back to reading. Clear my head of this junk & wait for the snow. Yes, I said snow. Tomorrow might be a disappointing post...might be...
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Random Snapple Fact under my cap today that I thought was hysterical:

A pineapple is neither an apple or a pine. It is, in fact, a large berry.

Hey ya never know it might be a Jeporady question one day. lol.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Happy 100th Post!


It didn't really dawn on me til I looked under my post "New Entry" that today is my 100th post. A 100 days!! I can't remember anything besides school or a relationship that I've done in a 100 days & was devoted to it. My clean room gets messy after a day & a half, my purse doesn't stay clean after I straighten it out, my fights with friends that I thought I would never talk to again lasts about a day or so...the journal I keep has soo many missed entries....but blogging...I'm keeping up with that and I like it very much. I'm even keeping up with the 11:11pm thing. Maybe my wishes will come true.

This is going to be a little short because I did get to go to my work party, go to the dentist, get my car fixed, & somehow my hair is still straight. I didn't get to go to my writer's group but luckily they will be emailing me comments on my story. =) I'm tired. I'm sleep for days tired. Who has a work party on a Thursday???? Ohh right it was Thrusday night Football at a Sports Bar. My head is killing me from the screaming bar...But I have a few delights that I want to share.

I got the pleasure today of receiving some awesome awards from the lovely lady at OceanDreams, Barry @ Life in Quotations, & Connor @ Pizza Box.


First off I recieved the Happy Award from OceanDreams. She is so talented & I want to shop in her designed Juicy store one day!!

Rules for Award:

1. List 10 things that make you happy.
2. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.

10 things:

1.) Coming home after an extremely long day, taking my belt off from my jeans, taking my socks off & taking my hair out of the bun & crawling into bed. Those few initial moments when my head hits the pillow, I crave everday & just letting go. "There's beauty in the breakdown" - Frou Frou

2.)That first kiss of the night. Not the hello kiss or the goodbye kiss, but the first kiss that's just because he's there next to you. It's usually the slow approach, angle your face to his gently, feel his hands smooth your hair down your face, & that moment when your lips finally touch... that makes makes me happy.


3.)Putting money in my bank account because it means I'm one step further to my dream apartment. It doesn't have to be big or glamorous, maybe just a studio apartment/condo for a few years but it'll be mine & I can hang my hat wherever I want.

4.)Curling up with a good book that I just get completely lost in the pages makes me deliriously happy. When I've looked up at the clock & an hour has blinked by or I glance at the book & see that I have made it already half through...Oooo I love it. Knowing that there's a sequel waiting, is the icing on the cupcake.

5.)Quoting movies & having someone tell me, "Omg I know that line! That's an Awesome Reference". I <3 movies, what can I say. It makes smile when I've made someone else smile.

6.)NOT being sick. lol. Had to add this one in because I think I'm getting a cold too from the sudden drastic drop in temperature. Oh great.

7.)People who call me or text me to just check up on me. I like that.

8.)Breaking stereotypes. Love this one. I think I'll do a post one day about it. Hey I used to go to my AP English & Physics & Tech Shop classes in High School in my cheerleading uniform. I loved making my technology teacher squirm watching a cheerleader use the ban saw. =P

9.)My mom telling me that's she's proud of me. I didn't get to the writers' group but they did read a story I submitted & they liked it. My mom was very happy & proud. It made me smile.

10.)Singing those 80's songs in my car @ full blast. <3.

I would like to pass this award on to ALL my followers. If you want to accept it by all means post & do the rules please be my guest. =)


Secondly, I recieved an award from Barry @ Life in Quotations. Go check out his blog, the link is above. He has a way of words & his deep thinking will move you in so many ways. I love this award because it gives me motivation for my zombie novel. Zombie Chickens?? I might put some in there. hehe.


Thirdly is the humane award from the hilarious Connor @ Pizza Box. He is just a delight & is so funny. I'm rooting for him to find a job ASAP. He's cute too.

I would love to assign awards to each & every one of you I'm just a lil tired to do the html coding. I never knew blogging would teach me how to computer program!! I'm a big multi-tasker. Right now I'm multi-tasking blogging & sleeping with my eyes open. I would like nothing other then to stay home tomorrow night & rest & read some more the book "Julie & Julia". I don't want to put it down. I'll rest one day. Good night everyone. Til Tomorrow

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

All in a day's time...


In the movie, One Fine Day, with George Clooney & Michelle Pfifer, these two strangers find themselves doing everything imaginable, where so many things go wrong as well as right in just one single Busy as Hell day, while somehow keeping a PG rating. Well that's why it's just a movie. I, however, would curse at least 10 times so it would have to be rated R or NC-17. lol.

I'm mentioning this movie because it seems that I'll have absolutely nothing to do for days, except refresh my blogger dashboard. BUT then the list starts piling up...I'm totally okay with that, I like being busy, it's just I wish it all wasn't things to do in One single day...

For example...

I will be meeting my platform friend this Saturday. I found out about the party this past Sunday night. I guess it was a little pre-mature to think that was the only thing I'd be doing this weekend. On Saturday night, I've been invited to a house-warming party where my ex might be (I'm not happy about that), my cousin is having a birthday party, & one of my best friends'cousins whom I know is having a birthday party........Yeah, I wish I could pull a "Multiplicity" Michael Keaton moment where I clone myself 5 times over. The platform friend's house is an hour away, I could go to that for a little bit at 7pm, drive home, go to the house warming party around 11pm, stay a lil, then go to my cousin's thing late late. But can I do it all in high-heels, 1 tank of gas, and 10 degree weather hoping my hair will stay straight??

That above is just Saturday. Tomorrow will be another one of these "Let's see what else we can throw on top of Melanie days". The only dental appointment I could get is tomorrow morning to resolve my toothache I still have. Then I have to bring in my car to the repair shop to do the "Maintenance Required". Go to work at 1pm, then I have my job work party after work at a Sports Bar(I'm not thrilled but its 5 guys, 1 girl...I'm out numbered on the voting on a place). Hopefully I can get my car back somewhere in before this Party?!? AND I have my Writers group tomorrow night at 7pm. Perhaps I can eat a few hot wings & sneak out of the work party early so I can make a little bit of my writers group. That to me is the more important event to be at. All of this in one day, hopefully headache free(I usually get headaches at the dentist).

Ya know, I'm starting to understand why cute little parrots pluck out their feathers. I truly do.

Somehow, someway I hope I get almost everything done, & try to make a cameo appearance when I can. I'm small and I can only stretch myself so far. I will get to meet Mr. Platform tho...that's a definite. I'm an Alice in Wonderland fan too, but didn't know I'd become the White Rabbit going, "I'm late, I'm late" running around. Next week I'll try to be Alice or the Mad Hatter. That'd be a cool change of pace for Christmas.


Ever find yourself with so much to do and just not enough time in the day?? How do you fit it all in?

It's so cold tonight in New York. Winter is definitely here. The comfy 3 blankets I have on my bed are going to be working over-time. I gotta head to sleep to get this show on the road tomorrow. Major New Years Resolution will have to be made in 2010. MUST GO ON VACATION!!. =P

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special..."

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Never thought I'd dream that....


I wonder what Snoopy is dreaming about here? Well I know what I'm dreaming about & I can't believe it. See my dreams are weird. I don't really ever have frivolous dreams like floating on top of a mountain, alien abductions, hippos, famous actors having lunch with me, or a crazy man dangling cheese in front of my face like in Buffy. Nope, not for me. Instead of have those almost real-life type dreams where you wake up & just for a moment hope that $20's you found in the dream is really on your nightstand. lol. I dreamt that once.

It's almost like my dreams are a false memory. It's extremely disorienting when you wake up because it plays back in my head when I wake up, like I'm desperately trying to remember what I did last night kinda like I'm forgetting it was just a dream. Perhaps it's because I have a photographic memory. I remember rooms, people's faces, what i see, not necessarily what I hear. Names...yeesh I'm bad with that. I don't know why.

The other night I dreamt something that should have been happy to dream but it just wasn't. It was literally almost like my mind was showing me how awful it truly was to be with the Mess (My Brown-Eyed Mr. Big Sorta Ex) so I could get over it. I was in a mall with him like I used to do with him, and then he turned to me & said, "Oh did we get everybody??". I responded, "Yeah it's just you & me". And he went to me, "Oh....right....you," with a look that he wasn't happy & was bored to be with me. The dream proceeded & he told me how he was dating this girl & that girl & going to call people to chill because I wasn't enough...It went on the dream & it was kinda like I was tied to the passenger seat in the car without a voice...I just sat there listening to the garbage, everything I said he never acknowledged...til I woke up.

Usually when he's in my dreams they're usually pleasant...even tho I haven't seen him in about a month & half. Now the dreams are like this one. Cold, awful, & leaves me waking up saying to myself..."Woa that was awful?? What was I thinking, sitting there in the dream doing nothing but listening to the crap???" Basically how the hell could I ever sit with him again & listen to him talk about the girls he'll date. I can't. He was my best friend...but I just can't pretend that I'm not hurt.

I wish I dreamt of sitting in strawberry fields, gelato in Italy, kissing a frog that'll turn into a prince, or even I dunno winning the lottery. However, I think I need to thank my sub-conscious mind for doing this to me. It's brutal, but I needed to see it. Sometimes you need to see things from the outside. You need to watch them in a sorta movie to see how messed up it is.

It's like when an artist will step back from their painting & stare it from a distance to see if it makes sense...

If your up too close...it's hard to see the way out. I'm out...I need to stay out of this drama. I love Lady Gaga's song, "Bad Romance", but I'm sorry...I don't want his drama, even if it would be free.

What a busy week this shall be. Mentally & physically. But I got hope that things are looking up. It may not have reached my dreams at night yet...but things are changing & I have to put that smile back on my face for the days to come. I'll be dreaming good dreams & getting the kisses from someone who will take the bad dreams away...one day.


Painting: "The kiss" by Gustav Klimt. One of my ultimate favs.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm the girl on the other Platform: We might actually Meet!


A week or so ago I mentioned a lil story about how I never actually meet a good friend of mine, yet we've talked online for years & he has seen me once across from him on a Train platform. It's kinda like the movie, "Sleepless in Seattle" a lil bit. I knew of him & he knew of me but alas something always happened & we never met. However unlike Meg Ryan I'm not going to fly across country to meet him. I'm just going to drive about an hour or so. lol.

My Myspace friend of 4 years is having a holiday cocktail party this upcoming Saturday. He had left me an invitation on facebook about a week ago. To my unluck, I don't check my facebook for personal reasons, I didn't get the invitation. BUT to my omg luck, to ensure I knew about the party he contacted me to let me know the details. Whew...I'm so happy he instant messaged me about it. I would have felt like a total jerk if I had found it later not realizing.

I almost wish I was going down on a train so I could see if he'd recognize me without the ticket behind my ear. That's the only time he ever saw me in person besides pictures and I didn't see him at all across the platform. In the New Brunswick, NJ train station there's usually alot of people there & I had no idea he was there. I still can't believe he saw me & knew it was me. Weird huh?

Didn't Tom Hanks see Meg Ryan when she went to Seattle but then she didn't say anything & it was just an awkward moment between them? It's been a while since they've played it on TV.

So...I'm nervous to meet one of my friends that I've told a good portion of the juicy stuff about my life for 4 years as well as he has told me. There will be tons of people at his house so I wonder if I will even get to talk to him at all? I mean he's the host. What do I wear??? I have a red, blue, & white skirt & alot of black sweaters....hmmmm...should I wear a skirt or jeans?? Uhh...I think a skirt. I want to look nice. Even though I know him, he's still a new person in my life & I would love to make a good first impression.

*Just Breathe*

Okay I got a week to go over every possible scenario in my head of how it's going to go. I do that. I run things over & over til I try to find something that fits best. Trial & Error. Rinse then Repeat. I just hope it doesn't snow. PLEASE DON"T SNOW!! It's one of his New Year's Resolution of this year to meet me too. I can't let him down.

It's odd how people disappear from my life, & then I may meet someone who may fill that hurtful gap. If my platform friend can pick up a lil piece of me & put it back where it belongs I'd be ever so grateful. I'm grateful for all you bloggers (aka...friends) for putting me back together too.

Well this part of the movie is where the lead girl is singing at the top of her lungs, "Your so Vain" by Carly Simon in karaoke or "Total Eclipse of Heart" by Bonnie Tyler & is trying to forget & making some changes that have to be made. This is going to be good, I hope. =)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

It's beginning to look alot like a Giveaway. =)

In this week o' madness I forgot to do my Giveaway. Well I knew I'd get around to it. I still can't believe it but I have reached over a 100 followers (Thank you thank you) & the holiday season is springing about everywhere. This calls for a mini celebration, ergo my holiday Giveaway!!!



You will win a copy of the movie, "The Holiday" staring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, & Jack Black...along with a lil snow Reindeer from Bath & Body Works to cuddle up with on the snowy nights. Or warm nights depending on what hemisphere you are on! If a guy wins this, I will throw in a sample of Swiss Army Cologne too.

To Enter:

1) You must be a Follower.
2) Leave a comment below before Sunday, December 20th.
3) For 1 Extra entry tell me something you'd like to accomplish in the New Year in an Another Comment.


Very simple. I love that movie, "The Holiday". It's one of those movies where it just leaves you smiling at the end. Two girls find themselves struggling with their lives & in turn take a holiday switch. One L.A. girl to England...One England girl to L.A and they completely change their lives around. It's a fun movie & Jude Law is incredibly cute in it. =) Give it as a gift or keep it if you don't own it.

The lil snowy reindeer is very soft & loveable. He needs a home.

Good luck everyone & I hope you have a great week!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

One small step for Mankind, one giant leap for a challenged Engineer...hehe.

Okay, so I didn't post for 2 days because I needed to collect myself. In movies, the actors just go from frame to frame & it seems they can just flip a switch & are over it or can do this or that. Yea that's really unrealistic. I was soo trapped in a bad movie the other day & needed a small intermission. I think that's why I like the movie, "Gone with the Wind". There's a small intermission in the middle so you can get up and do whatever you like for a bit. hehe.

I did go to the dentist & are feeling a little better. My tooth is just a dull pain. In life, trust me, never say, "WHAT CAN HAPPEN NEXT???". It can bite you where you totally don't want it.


Woa. This is awesome. So I'm usually chained to my desk in my small bedroom when I write, but thanks to an absolutely beatiful creature called a wireless rooter I'm actually on the couch in my living room. It's funny how little things make me happy. Now I can't fathom not having one. In addition to my math degree I also have an associates degree in Engineering Science. I love science & how things work. But ironically I don't have many technologically advanced things. I just don't follow technology as much as I should. I need to get up on that. I don't mean having like Richie Rich or Donald Trump gadgets, but things that make life easier. Like getting a cell-phone with a keyboard. That's priority on my list. I also need to get a laptop pillow because geez this thing is heavy and hot on your legs. I'll take being wireless tho, hands down.


In my desk freedom I'm sitting here watching "Julie & Julia". I love this movie because it clued me in on blogging. This movie came out on my 24th birthday, Aug. 7th, & I went to see it with my mom. I absolutely adored it. I love how Julie is so normal & Julia Child is hilarious. It wasn't easy for any of them, but in that I found it really inspiring. I even have a customer service job where people yell at me when they get the wrong product. lol. Thank you Julie Powell & Julia Child. They also have inspired me to go to those Williams Sonoma demos I go to on Sundays. One day I will have an apartment & will have a boyfriend & I want to cook for him & people. A friend of mine's cousin now has a boyfriend and they stayed in and cooked each other dinner. That sounded so cute to me. I want to do that one day.

It's cold out today. Really freaking cold. It makes all your muscles hurt. But it's alright, I just need to not be crabby about it. That's easier said than done. My mom & dad & I haven't put up a Christmas tree yet. We have honestly about 8 up in the attic. No joke. We have ALOT Of trees but finding them will be tricky & none of us feel good. I think tomorrow I'm going to add a #9. I'm going to buy a small fake tree to put on the coffee table because I want a Christmas tree this year. My mom will probably be mad that I bought Yet another one when we have alot of them but we need some Christmas spirit.

Alright. Off to the mall I think. I gotta get a few more little things... I hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit & having a great weekend.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Seriously, did I walk on to a movie or what??


So did anyone know that it could snow about 3 inches in the morning then be freezing cold all day BUT then you can have a thunder/lightening storm with heavy rain around 5pm the same day?? OH just to spice it up it will also hail huge hail stones the size of mini marbles???? Apparently it can. I did not take that picture above btw. My 5 minute drive home from work started fine then bam heavy rain, thunder, lightening, then hail. Did I sign up for some disaster weather movie?? I know I put my resume online but did it secretly sign me up for the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow 2?" I can't believe it. Ironically when I parked my car I still had to shovel snow out of my parking spot so it wouldn't ice after it rained.

I know I said I'd have a giveaway today but things just got all screwy. This is a little too weird for me. I honestly feel like I'm in a movie. Somewhere there has gotta be a director calling the shots and a film crew setting this stuff up because come on! Too much stuff is going wrong.

Well first off I'm trapped in some weird weather movie, where's Jake Gyllenhaal when you need him?...Secondly, I've had a tooth ache all day. Apparently I somehow in all the insanity of my past few days the top of one of my teeth fell off. One of my back molars is missing it's top layer. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED!! So I'm in the movie "Castaway" too?? My dentist won't be in til Monday so I'm sorta stuck in pain unless I could maybe get him tomorrow with an emergency number. I have never had a tooth ache before. It hurts to no end. Luckily I had some viccodin from my surgery, but it's only dulling the pain.

The even funnier part about the tooth thing is that I went to the dentist this past Saturday....Yeah. I swear I did and they said I had a "Healthy Mouth". Well they missed something. I guess I could find myself a pair of skates?? Oh God never mind that. I just got a mental image. EEEEP!!!


Thirdly before driving home, when I turned on my car I noticed there was a lil light that came on, "Maintenance Required". I wish it could have said "What" needs to be done. So my car needs Maintenance, whatever that means. I'll have to put it on the list.

What is that movie with Britanny Murphy & Ashton Kutcher where EVERYTHING goes wrong? I think it's "Just Married". Or that movie, "RV" with Robin Williams where you name it, it happens. I don't know what's going on lately. Even the perfect song on the radio at the right moment to remind me how much me and the mess are over? What is this???


Fourthly, the two boys at my job are also kinda reminding me of the two evil stepsisters in the movie "Cinderella" because they are being very disrespectful to me. I don't have a cubicle, I just have a desk next to theirs. They are yelling and carrying on about sports or this or that hot girl or this trade to some team while I'm on the phone with customers. It's like the movie "Office Space: The Utlimate Edition". This tho I'm working on getting out of there as soon as possible.

*Just Breathe*

It's been one hell of a day. Just one hell of a day. One thing after another. And I have a cold too. Maybe I should play the lottery. It couldn't hurt. There's gotta be some silver lining somewhere. I need to have a word with this movie director. I really need to get my hands on the script so I can prepare better.

But I'm not out of the count. I'm going to try really hard. I mean it. I have to. Here's a song from the past that I think Truly fits right now. Chumbawamba- "Tubthumping".



My tooth really hurts. I will have a normal back to schedule post tomorrow to clear up this mess. I just needed to vent. Thank you for all that is listening. I really appreciate it. =)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Just a quick post for today. I'm going to be doing a giveaway tomorrow so be sure to come back and enter. I reached a 100 followers!! I'm shocked. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I'm keeping it real and continue to do so.


My reason for this post is that I just watched the season finale to "The Biggest Loser" and I don't think I've cried more from a Reality show in a long while. I give each and everyone of those people so much credit. They are so motivating. Tomorrow I will starting my official diet. I did have my gall bladder out about a month & half ago so it's been hard to stick to anything. Maybe watching this finale has given me the motivation to pursue a goal. I don't want to lose much weight, just about 10 pounds healthily. It's real easy to just not eat but then you get sick, so I'm going to be back to doing it the right way. Exercising and not doing senseless eating because I'm bored. I've been eating like a bag a day of those Quaker rice cake snacks. They are great in moderation but not a bag a day. I tend to eat at my desk because I have a boring job and it's stressful at time so I eat more. I have to be careful tho with ab stuff just for a little while longer. People may see me walking around, going to work, drinking a glass of wine, but it does take a lot to recover from an invasive surgery like losing a whole organ. I guess I'm very good at doing the "I'm Okay" on the outside while I'm still hurting on the inside. Wish I could get paid to do it. I gotta work on finding a much better balance.

I wish my non-blogger friends that I do know were being a little more supportive. I really do. I wish I got the "Oh I havent talked to you in a while. How's your side? Just checking up on you." That's what I would do.

Alrighty tho:

Step #1 of new diet starting at 12:00am: Get a Good night sleep. Okay gunna try.


Also I wanted to say R.I.P John Lennon. John Lennon was shot in the back 29 years ago today. What a sad, horrific day for music. John Lennon was a memeber of the original Beatles. The lyrics of the Beatles songs & Lennon's songs are some of my favorites. He will be remembered. His killer is actually still in prison and has been denied payroll.

You gave us great music, Mr. Lennon. Thank you.

Title of this post is from the song "Imagine" by John Lennon.

Monday, December 7, 2009

But where we they going without ever knowing the way....


When I was a kid I used to be addicted to Nick @ Nite. Ya know when Nickelodeon showed the old shows from the 50's, 60's, and 70's after like 10 o'clock at night. One show I used to watch that popped into my head today was "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" staring of course Mary Tyler Moore. As I was editing my resume tonight, I started thinking of ladies that are inspiring and she popped into my head.

I would love to live her TV show. That might sound weird but hear me out. She has a big studio apartment, her best friend Rhoda lived upstairs from her, she had a job where they respected her, and her outfits were inpeccable. Well first and foremost in the show she had a strong position at the news station and her co-workers respected her. I want that. So I've gone to the resume classes, my christmas bonus is hopefully coming, therefore I'm left with to go find another job for the new year.

I'm going to try to work on things that I can personally control for a while. I can't control someone else or the weather but I can help lil things. So I sat down from 8pm tonight to 11pm and re-did my resume. Procrasination is the lil devil on my shoulder. I put my edited resume on Monster.com & Career Builder. Now I gotta just wait and see. But I DID IT!!! I did something new to start a change instead of just rant.

But I gotta ask. Is anyone else overwhelmed by these online job sites??

There are soo many jobs but it's hard to know EXACTLY what to put in the search engine keywords. There is also soo many qualifications that I fear I just don't have enough creditenials with my degrees. Why couldn't I be a dentist? All you put in the search engine is dentist...and there ya go. lol. If I wanted to be a math teacher, I'd just type that in too. Engineering is a such a wide field it's hard to narrow job titles down to specifics. I guess I gotta do some major searching with alot of different keywords. I'll try craigslist too.

I wish there was a class in college called "How to get a job" that really worked.


A lil while back I picked up this book at a thrift store. I gotta tell you it's old. Very old. It's from 1979. I'm sorry antique I'm not going to wear shoulder pads unless I'm driving a delorean. But businesses and the professional world is still the same with their attitudes. I'm going to flip through it and see what it can help me out with office ettiqute. Every little bit helps. It's funny tho...there are NO PICTURES in the book so im curious as to what they are going to tell me in writing about dressing professional.

But I am happy I did the resume. I'd been putting off too long. Is there anything special anyone of you know that you did to get your job? Internships? Projects? Mutual friends? People ya know?

I would love to hear how you got your job or how your going about getting a new one. It would help me out alot. I need to know the way...

Thank you in advance =).

btw...how did I get 98 followers? I'm flabbergasted. Thank you. It's making me smile so much. I will being doing a Holiday/100 followers giveaway soon...hopefully. Have a good night everyone. I have a cold from walking in the rain. yeah...me + weather don't mesh. But sleep will help. I wonder how much sleep Mary Tyler Moore got? *Wondering*. Title of this post is from the Fastball song, "The Way".

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Meet Me Halfway....


New York this weekend got hit with the first snow fall of the year. Nothing rings in Christmas like snow. That's snow on my head not dandruff hehe. Ironically my favorite Christmas song John Lennon's "This is Christmas" came on the radio while I was driving in it. I dunno I think the song is cute. The snow of course brought with it a storm.

I was supposed to go to a friend's birthday party where I might see a sorta-ex mess but the hours past by and I didn't get a text of location or time. The curious lil cat that I am, texted the friend, "Hey is anything still going on?". I had been invited to these festivities earlier in the week but the answer was, "Oh sorry I forgot to fill you in on the details it's at so-&-so." I was forgotten. Well with the snow storm I couldn't go anyway. My car does not drive good in the snow. Honda Civic's are light in the snow. But it still hurt. It's not like I wasn't invited but I would have liked to be included in the location. Who knows what happened that my friend forgot to let me know the time & place.

Later in the weekend I tried to save the weekend by going into the New York City. I don't know if any of you have ever walked through the streets of this city but when it's raining you feel like your in a movie. People are running, trying to hail cabs, and the rain seems to hit you just a little harder. All I could think of was the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" when New York fills with water. I feared looking behind me cuz I didn't want to see the wall of water. lol.

I also found out I can't hail a cab. I'm 5'4" but I guess I'm a lil small. I put my hand out and just wasn't effective enough in the rain. So I walked to my uncle's apartment in the rain/snow. It was about 13 blocks down & 5 blocks across. I got my exercise for the year tho, ya know? It was funny I had put my black nice dress on, had jeans on under it, and sneakers, and had a shop rite recyclable bag with my other shoes & panty hoes in it to change into. My sopping wet hat & hair was everywhere. I must have looked like a wreck. No wonder the cab didn't stop...lol.

Last week I was asking for a lil push from you guys to do things. The comments and the events of this week have pushed me. I've been put the test and now I have to take it. I was thinking about things waiting in the train station to go to NYC and a song came on....

Isn't it Always the case when you least expect it the perfect song comes on that explains the moment better than you ever could? Well the song, "It's too late" by Carole King came on just at the right moment of my thoughts. I substituted the "we" for "I". Here are the lyrics:

"And it's too late, baby, now it's too late
Though I really did try to make it
Something inside has died
And I can't hide and I just can't fake it."

- Carole King

Yeah those lyrics sum it up. It's a shame. But it is too late, too much has been done. This week is going to odd. I'm going to be a lil hap-hazard and random in my actions. But I can't keep trying to hail a cab that isn't going to come. Maybe if I wear platform shoes that'll work next time???? hmmmmm.... Well Cheers to change & decisions. Til Tomorrow...

Maybe if I can just meet you halfway? Just halfway. This way you don't have to go far...not the full way...maybe that'll be enough for you...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Add some Roo to your Doo...


This is a small post because I'm ever so tired. I normally don't do product reviews but I had to mention how awesome this shampoo & Conditioner brand is. Ever hear of the brand "Aussie"? It's the hair product in the purple bottle with the kangaroos. There are even cute lil commercials with a big purple kangaroo. hehe. My title is their slogan. I bought these products myself with a coupon. And just thought I'd share the info with you.

I just wanted to say that Omg my hair feels so nice. I have naturally EXTREMELY curly hair & it's about half way down my back now. I dunno I always seem to have longer hair in the winter. I guess I'm a secret water buffalo that is growing an extra mane. I think?? With long hair comes alot of hassles. I think that's why I wear it up so much. But from the gel, the mousse, straigthening with the flat iron, & all the other goop I put in it, it sometimes screams for nourishment. It'll sometimes feel like straw. I'm not ashamed to admit that. With the weather & my health, my hair takes a beating. But it feels soo smooth right now in the curls that I gotta recommend these products.

Aussie Smooth Shampoo & Aussie Smooth Conditioner

Your hair feels so nice & clean. It doesn't have to be just for girls it can be used by men too. I love when a guy has soft hair. Yeah they can put all that gel in it to spike it up but if it's really smooth & nicely cut without the gel it does look incredible.

These Aussie hair products also have all different types too for different hair types. You can probably find them in the super market or a CVS or a Walgreens. With one washing you'll HONESTLY really feel a difference in your hair. =)

Anyone ever try any Aussie Hair products?? I'm hooked. =)


I'm incredibly tired because I went to see "The Blind Side" with my friend Erin & her sister. It's an extremely good movie. It's so moving. YOU DON'T NEED TO LIKE FOOTBALL to see this. It's a movie for everyone regardless of if your sports fan or not. Sandra Bullock is just great. It's very different from her "Miss Congenality" days but it shows how far her career has come. The gentleman that plays Michael Oher the main character played the role great. It's fun movie that makes you root for the team as well as enjoy yourself.

It's hard going from a week of 3 days to a full week. I'm extra tired. The coffee in the morning just isn't cutting it anymore. My un-made bed is calling to me, I must answer and sleep. Til Tomorrow...

P.S. Thank you for all the comments today on my last post. You guys are just the push I needed to be motivated to go to this thing & try to hold my head high. It's hard, it truly is. I can do this. I can move on. I have to move on. Thank you. =)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Storm...


"He said there's a storm coming in." - Gas Station Attendant
"I know" - Sarah Conor, Terminator

Today it rained in buckets. It's still raining actually. I can hear the wind outside. Everytime there's a storm I think of the movie, "Terminator" & those last lines above of the movie. The first two movies are my favorites. I can't imagine what I would do if I knew the future. If some hot guy showed up one day & told me my son would save the world. I'd probably freak. hehe. In case anyone didn't know, Terminator Salvation came out yesterday so it's in stores.

Hmmm...Storms. I've been a storm of emotion lately. One thing after another is reminding how things used to be. For example, 3 Back to the future references in one day. Don't ask. Trust me. Then there is a text that I recieved that I opened with hope that maybe it was, "Hey we haven't seen each other in a month. We should chill." But no. It was a text of "We should chill soon." When I wrote, "Yeah that would be cool. Miss ya." I of course got no response. I hate wasting perfectly good and meaningful I miss yous. Sigh. I knew better. At least tho I said it. I was honest.

This is a snippet I wrote months ago, but I don't think anyone read it, so here it is again. It works so perfect in this moment, yet again...

I've mentioned before of a writer named Kate Chopin. Ever hear of her? The name may ring a bell if you ever looked at the summer reading list in high school or happened to read one of her stories. She was so pivotal in the late 1800's and her stories were published in Vogue Magazine. My favorite short story of her is called "The Storm". When i first read it, I got chills. Its about a woman named Calixta who has a husband and a small boy who go out one day to the market, leave her home, and then the storm hits. The storm is in the shape of a man named Alcee. I still can't get over that I was reading a love scene from 1898 that was more full of passion and love and sexier then many of the erotic novels of today. Calixta lets go of her life in the arms of this man she had known in the past as the storm rages on around them. I often thought that if my Brown-eyed Mr. Big (The Mess) and I ever got back to some semblance of how we were it would be a storm. Well it was a storm again but only for a lil while. It was kinda like Sarah Conor & Reese in Terminator...a lil bit.

"As she glanced up at him the fear in her liquid blue eyes had given place to a drowsy gleam that unconsciously betrayed a sensuous desire. He looked down into her eyes and there was nothing for him to do but to gather her lips in a kiss." -"The Storm"

It's a very short story and it's actually a sequel to another of Chopin's work. I recommend reading the story if you ever feel a lil caged. Feeling that there are walls all around you and your trying so hard to look over them or break free from them. I found the Kate Chopin information via Kate Chopin. The short stories are also on that site.

Oh well. There will be a storm on Saturday because a mutual friend of the Mess's & I is having a birthday party. It's supposed to snow too on that day. Great, but I have to go. The mutual friend is too good to me not to go. It's going to be weird. I've been in these weird positions before. Have to suck it up & be there for a friend regardless of the Ex that will be watching my every move or not caring that I'm there which hurts just as equally. I don't know. Too early to say. So I got 3 days to get over this guy. I work good on deadlines. It's motivation. Okay Starting now...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You and me could write a bad romance...


Well here I am writing in my own lil world with my lil tiger writing buddy. Remind me to change my calendar to December? I usually forget to do that til at least half way through the month.

So here's a question for you. When was the last time any of you sat and wrote something out with a pen or pencil that wasn't a check or a school assignment? If you asked me this about 3 months ago I'd have to really think about my answer.

I love to write still in notebooks, especially in script. I remember doing worksheets after worksheets of penmanship back in school years ago. I guess now it's a dying art. It's so easy to just write an email, talk on aim, or Facebook. But I think how people write shows you some of their inner character. No two people write things the same way, making it a unique quality that everybody has inside themselves. That's why I've paid a lot of money for famous people's autographs. hehe. Many of the best novels & stories of the world were written without computers. Charles Dickens wrote allllllll his books out by hand, AND didn't have a ball-point pen. I honesty can't imagine.


What brought on this question was my Writers's Group. It is going to be a sorta Workshop for writers who need feedback. I've mentioned it before & this was my second meeting. I can't wait to read one of my stories to them to get feedback. This group is also helping me write my zombie novel. From my last post about this I've organized a lot about it. I have a few key scenes written out that I just can't wait to piece together. The group's people are very friendly, very appropriately opinionated, & give such sound advice. It's giving me a push, that I so need in several things in my life right now. You gotta hold a baby up to teach them how to walk. The mama bird has to push the baby bird out of the nest one day or it'll never fly.

On the back covers of novels there is usually a clip of the book to give you an idea of the novel. Well here's my opening lines for my back cover about a girl after the zombie war. What do you think?

"Photos..money...rolaids..pennies...post-its...loose staples...stamps...one earring...cds...ugh, useless junk. Bills never to be paid...check books...credit cards. Ah...that's what I was looking for. She said that was my job; to clean up the mess. All these cards, all these names, and all the cancelling I'm going to have to do. Sigh. I think it's starting to really hit home what has truly happened. The reality of it. The truth of what those extra footsteps has done to this world. My side hurts & it probably always will to remind me of that day. The day when they could not be controlled anymore & everything just fell apart."

To do this novel, I'm basically drawing from life experiences. No, I've never been in a zombie attack BUT I've worked in an office that was going out of business where each day there'd be fewer and fewer people working there...and people just left their belongings in their desks after they left. The reason? I will never know. Drawing on memories & making up a story is something I've been looking forward to, so I'm going to working on it, lil by lil. I dreamt of being a writer one day...well now I'm going to try.

All you creative minds out there...remember to pick up a pen one day. It may feel weird at first cuz your used to typing, but do it. You might re-find an enjoyable art.

Title is from Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance".

"Even though you're the only one I see
If you ask, I'll cut you free..."

- Grizzly Bear, "Slow Life"

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